Hearing the Lord - January 2021

 What are you doing in 2021?

I am opening the eyes and hearts of men to receive the Glory of my presence in a way that has never been done before. I am planting in the hearts of the faithful seeds of wisdom, love power, and perseverance that will be used to usher in the age of blessing I am bringing to the world through my church. That blessing will be the catalyst of great repentance on the land and through that repentance I will reveal all things. People will confess what they have done. Their hearts will be rent with conviction and they will share for all to see and hear. Those in high places will be brought low. Those in the valley will be raised up. The nations will bless me and my church and to the ends of the earth my glory will fall. Salvation will come before the horn sounds, before my chariots ride, before my people come home. Then I will judge those who have not repented. Those whose hearts have remained hard and aligned with evil, those who have sought to undermine what I have done through my people. They will receive my wrath and they will know I am the Lord. 

What would you share concerning Trump?

Trump is my anointed one. I have chosen him to lift Isreal and to fulfill the destiny of America through him and through my church. Restoration for his soul and a new glory. He will receive my blessing and it will rest upon his shoulders and cover him like a mantel. Where he walks my peace will follow and where he stands I will plant my flag. I was ready to judge America, but its heart has turned toward me. I have heard the cries of her people and have held my hand. You have chosen the right president and leader, my appointed one, and the usurper will fall. He will be brought low and his nakedness will be exposed and those who have joined him in deceiving the nations and robbing them of my blessing will be brought to an end. Their hearts will harden and they will turn against each other. Evil will be brought to light and all will be laid bare. They will hide their heads in shame and those who will not repent will be destroyed. I am merciful, however, and desire to see all those who would confess before men to be honored in my courts. In my house there is a table ready for those who would turn. Those who come forward first. My judgement will pass over their homes and will rest doubly on the one behind. Trump will finish what I have appointed him for and all the nations of the earth and my ecclesia will be blessed through him and through America. 

China? The World?

I have heard the cries of the people, the world is praying and crying out for justice and I have heard. It has not fallen on deaf ears. I will come to them and I will lift them. I will give them strength and power, they will see might mighty hand and they will believe. 

China is at an end. Its reign of terror has been judged and its days are numbered. It's torment of my people, its lies, and idolatry have grieved my heart and they are coming to an end.  I will rip out its teeth and throw them into the sea. I will liberate my people and the message of my son will spread to the ends of the earth. A new remnant will arise that will follow me and China will be lifted up, renewed as in times of old. 

Courage

The root word of discourage is courage. So it stands to reason that the discouragement would be the lack of courage. Pray right now for courage. There are four basic things that lead to discouragement. Fatigue, Failure, Fear, and Frustration. When we yield to fear and lose courage we risk the chance of missing many opportunities that would come if we are courageous.
"Be strong and courageous, be not afraid neither be thou dismayed for the Lord your God is with you where ever you go."

Receiving God Gifts

I love when God gets us alone. I have found he always has a way of getting us there whether we want it or not. Yesterday was such a day for me. I was locked out of my house for 11 hours. During that time I had nothing to do except wait. In the waiting God pressed upon my heart what His gift were. I was struggling with anxiety and I prayed about if. I realized that God's gifts are free: peace, love, joy, hope, salvation, but in every instance we have to reach out and take them. What's that mean? It means knowing that Gods gifts are there and we actively say aloud we receive the gift. "I receive your joy. I take it in my heart and make it mine! I receive your peace and take it and make it mine. Salvation is the same. It is offered but we have to receive it.

I Am Humbled

I am humble that you would chose me, a man, to place the words of your heart upon. To place your presence so close to my soul that we become one. That I might share in your vision, that I might catch your heart for the lost, that I might know of your goodness and share your love. For you redeem the broken. You call the lost to your side, you chase after them, you overturn the world and shake it to it's core that they may know you love them. Blessed be your name. Blessed be your name.

You are my son. And I delight in you. You have laughed at the enemy when he stood at your gates. My praise had been upon your lips and faithfulness had been your path. I will bless you with an increase of abundance. The presence of my spirit that you so desire. It will be for you a blessing to the end of the age that I will never remove. You will walk with me and I will walk with you and your house shall be my house and my house shall be your house. For you are loved and you are mine. Behold what I am about to do. I will make your path straight. I will usher in your inheritance and it will start for you today. I will bless your daughter and give her my favor. She is safe in my arms and I delight in her. She will touch the nations and through her heart I will bring healing that I yearn to share. They will say of the Lord he is the great healer and the One true God. 

What God Would Have Me to Do

I have been feeling very strongly of late that I needed to spend more time in the word. In fact, maybe it was not so much a conviction as an intense desire to draw closer to Him. I desire His presence, His glory, His awesome love that covers all my sins and grants me grace. He has given us eyes to see and ears to hear the wonderful things that He is doing and has done. All of the mysteries of life and existence can be found in Him. "The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." Proverbs 9:10
I really want to know Him more and to have Him reveal Himself to me. So, I felt the first step was to turn off the TV and the computer and spend time daily with Him in the word. I've got this little desk that I built into the upstairs wall of my house where I can read and write. It's quiet and away from things and for me, having ADD, it's a good thing. I came tonight, for the first day of my new commitment and was seeking the Lord about a matter which is very close to my heart. (I will return to this in a moment)
If you've been reading my blog then you are aware of what has been taking place over the past five years. If not, then really briefly, I am having a meeting tomorrow with my former wife to talk about our daughter. My x has remarried recently and moved to Michigan, well, she's trying to move there. We've been in court about it for the last year and it has been really challenging. All along though I really felt that God was telling me that the battle belonged to Him and that He was fighting against the spirit that sought to destroy me. Now, some of you might be thinking that I am referring to my X, but I am not. I am referring to the Spirit that was allowed to enter and destroy my family and who sought to destroy me. The first step in overcoming the spirit was forgiving. I had to forgive my wife and learn to love her regardless. There are consequences, don't get me wrong, but the bitterness that was trying to creep in fled, the anger was felt, embraced and released, and then came love. His love for her. His passionate desire to see her fall in love with Him and to heal. I continued praying for healing for her. In the mean time I had to make the hard decisions to continue with legal actions to prevent the move.
In December my x-wife came to me and I could sense something in her spirit that was different. Something had changed. There was a humility and a brokenness that had not been there before. I could recognize it because it was how I had been living for the last four and a half years. There had been times when she had been sweet to me to get what she wanted, but this was different. She wasn't sweet, she was solemn. She told me that she knew I was bitter and angry at her. I told her I was neither. I told her there were times I was angry and hurt, but that I forgave her. She mentioned something about my parents being angry too.  I couldn't argue there. She said it hurt and she started to cry. She told me that she had been reading her Bible and that she read that we are to be a peace with each other. I imagine she had read Romans 12:18. Then she said she had not been at peace with me and said she would like to be and that maybe we could talk things through.
It's amazing when God puts something on your heart. You can't tell exactly what is going on, but you know that something is happening and you want to be a part of it. He was healing. I kept praying that God would allow His kingdom to invade this situation and that He would bring healing and restoration to the glory of His name. If anyone has ever been through a divorce and a custody case you know that this is impossible without His help.
So we met the other day, Heidi and I, to discuss Arianna. We actually prayed together first. We just asked that God would heal and that what was best for Arianna would be what came to pass. We even stated that if we went to court then we went to court, but that we would work together for Arianna. If we cannot come to an agreement now and a judge has to decide then we will trust that is what is best for Arianna.
It's insane being so closely bound to something and having it literally be the one thing that you feared most in life and being so near to it, but it is something that has been surrendered. Completely, surrendered. It's like a deep peace that come and lifts the concern and holds it off of you. You still have the concern, you are still deeply and intrinsically bound to it, but you have peace and the burden eases. It is trust that He loves me and that He loves Arianna and that He really wants what's best for us, and that, even if the worst imaginable thing happens, He can still heal and change our lives and turn that thing around and make it beautiful.
The verse from Psalms "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." keeps coming up and it's true. It's words are profoundly accurate. I have experienced great sorrow and I would have despaired had I not believed that I would see His goodness come. It has been the experience of that hope and in His awesome Goodness that has driven me even closer to Him. I cannot press hard enough into His heart. I am ever hungry and increasingly desiring the things of His kingdom over the things of this life. This brings me back to my desire to spend more focused time with Him.
I was getting my Bible out and was just praying about what I should read, anything else that I should read with it. Suddenly I felt Him prompt my heart that I should get "Reading Lolita in Tehran." Now, for those of you who know, it is a great book, but not one that you would consider having with your daily Bible study. I tested the spirit and heard it again so I turned on the light, went to the bookcase and found the book. I took it and my Bible to my desk and asked what I should read. I felt compelled to turn to Proverbs. I was seeking help and thought that might be a good place to start. I read a number of the verses and one caught my eye. "Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs." Proverbs 10:12. It spoke to me some, but I was looking for more. Suddenly I felt pulled to read "Reading Lolita". I closed my Bible and opened the book expecting to read from Chapter 1 when couple of pieces of paper fell out. They were mine and I had written them almost four years ago. I knew right then that was why I had that book out. I put the book down and began to read...
"He wants to walk with me in the cool of the day. He wants a relationship with me. He desires me!... We need to respond to God's desire to walk with us in the cool of the day. Re-read John 3:16. Think about the restoration of relationship." Then I had written. "I cannot stop praying for and lifting Heidi up. She is a part of my soul. I believe honoring her is what God would have me do." Then He brought me back to Proverbs 10:12. I read it again. "but love covers over all wrongs."
I don't have all the answers, I must not be ready for them yet, but I do know that God desires me, that He is moving and healing, that He had all of this in mind when I wrote that almost four years ago, that I must continue to pray for Heidi, and to allow love to cover over ALL wrongs. All the while keeping in mind that I must be as wise as a serpent and as gentle as a dove.

Not Just A Pile of Stones

I've been reading Bill Johnson's book Supernatural Power of a transformed mind. I've had to start it and push through it several times. It gets me so mad. Mad because I have been praying for years that I would be able to walk in the spirits power and bring healing and the kingdom. I am painfully aware of areas of unbelief and areas of doubt. Not in the existence of God or of His abilities, but in His willingness to act on my behalf should I speak to the cripple and tell her to get out of her chair, or the blind man to receive sight. I have been faithfully pursuing a deeper relationship with Him and He is meeting me with amazing revelations, joy and peace. I'm working on hope and surrendering to Him in this. It was amazing that this past year I was hit hard financially. I had no work for almost four months and when I started working I wasn't paid for almost three. I know there are people out there who have been hit worse than that, but in my case I am responsible, according to court, for certain expenses that are required by my divorce papers. I have to pay for the house, because her name is on it, I have to have insurance for our daughter, I have to have our school bills paid because they are shared jointly, I have to pay child support, and property taxes. My ex brought contempt charges against me because I was having trouble paying these things. It was incredibly stressful. On top of that she told me that she met a man from Michigan and that they were getting married and that she was moving and taking Arianna with her. I knew I couldn't let her do that. It wasn't at all good for Arianna, but I had nothing to fight it. I had to borrow money from Arianna's piggy back to get some food, (I've paid it back :) Suddenly I would have to shoulder the burden of a 325.00 and hour attorney and who knows what other costs. But I kept feeling that the Lord was telling me to trust Him. The battle belongs to Me. I went ahead and got my attorney. My parents helped with the retainer. First provision. Then after a couple of months of working the attorney had used all of the retainer and had racked up and additional $8,000. They told me that I needed to pay if we were going to move ahead and I needed a very costly evaluation done on Arianna. That landed me almost $6,000. Plus I had past bills and I had to have a house that dropped over $40,000 in value refinanced (which I had been trying for the past two years) or I could go to jail. And what is more. I had little to no work lined up for the fall. Enters God. You know the verse in Joshua where God tells him to get his men together and go out on the battlefield then stand there and watch while the Lord fought the battle for them. Well, my roommate mentioned that verse to me and felt it really applied to my situation. I felt the same thing. That God was telling me to get out of His way. It wasn't a fight against my Ex. It was a fight against the spirit that had been trying to destroy me for so long! Okay, back to the money thing. I had about a week and a half to come up with almost 10-11 thousand dollars. My friend and accountant Sue laughed, but said that we believed God could do it and would. It was amazing by the time that the bill was due I had almost $15,000 in my bank account. I got a new job out of the blue. I was paid for three months work, and friends and family came out of the wood works to bless me with enormous offerings. He is so good. My station changed in one week. I was able to pay all my bills and to date have caught up on almost everything and everyone that I owe and have been able to give some to others. I'm so greatful and I want this to be one of the many stone piles that mark God's faithful actions on my behalf and in my life. I suffered for almost eight months through that crisis and have been suffering through the separation with my wife for almost four years, but God is faithful and I have been faithful to trust Him.

Bill said, "Our troubling experience may last days, months, or years, instead of just an hour or two, but our approach should be the same. We must declare the goodness and faithfulness of the Lord in the midst of our trial, even before we have an answer."

I agree. I don't know what will happen in court on February 28th, and I don't know if I will have to go to jail. I certainly hope not, but I know that God is faithful and through my struggles I have come to be able to trust Him with any outcome, knowing that He loves me and that He can take anything, no matter what, and turn it around and make it good. He can redeem anything and anyone. He has given me such peace and he has restored my hope. I believe that I won't have to go to jail and that Arianna will stay with me. It is what is right and it is what is best for her, but I don't know for sure. None the less, I pray that the God of peace will bring peace. I have forgiven Heidi and I have let go of any right I think I have for justice for the pain she caused and I seek His justice and His healing for Heidi and His protection over Arianna. I will help God bring His kingdom into this situation and will overcome evil, no matter it's source, with good.

Weary of Doing Good?

Galatians 6:9 stepped out of the Bible to me tonight. It's amazing how the words live in a one dimensional place and then suddenly, as though I had 3D glasses, they jump off the page and into my heart. What amazing power your word has to change, renew, and transform. 


The verse is "So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up" (NLT). This meant a lot for me, because of the mountain that I face before me. There are definitely powers at work. Forces of evil and darkness that lurk behind even the most simple of human actions. Some might be fueld by our choices, some maybe created by them, still others use our words and choices to piggy back there agendas into our lives. If we do not recognize them, then they will remain, they will fester, and they will grow. I love the thought of a mustard seed being the idea of a simple faith, but it is also conversely true. That a simple lie, no matter how small, when it is planted and allowed to grow can end up becoming the tree that blocks out the sun. 


There are several spirits that have been attacking me for years. The first is the spirit of guilt. I've struggled with it for years and in the last four years I've been set free of it, mostly. It doesn't have the power to pull me into self misery like it once did. But it is still a force that I must contend with. I always have felt that I fall short of the mark that God has for me, and even though I'm saved, that somehow He is disappointed with me and that there is nothing that I can do that can make Him happy. This is one of those cases in which I let the seed in and it grew into the tree that blocked out the truth. The amazing truth that God loves me more than I could ever know and that He is, in fact, in a good mood. The tree had to be chopped down. 


I am facing court coming up very soon and I am fully aware of the accusations that are being leveled against me and that, though there may be seeds of truth somewhere, they are nested in lies. The lies are going to attempt to pull me down and make me doubt myself. But the truth is, that I know, before God and man, I have walked with a heart of love, of forgiveness and compassion, joy and strength. That I have been a source of hope for so many hurting people and that God has taken what has been done to me and is turing it, as a powerful weapon, against the enemy (the the person, but the spirit behind the person) that will shatter the gates of the enemy. He will not stand against it.


 I am learning that through everything the only real control I have is over my response to any situation. And since we all know that life is filled with good and bad that it is our call as believers to stand up against injustice, and though we may fail in our endeavor we make the world a better place, none the less, and in so struggling we improve ourselves until we become the very people that God created us to be. It's awesome to think that our greatest Glory is yet to be revealed and that all of creation eagerly waits for us to be revealed. Until that day comes let us never tire of doing good.