Thank You God

God, I just wanted to make sure that you knew without a shadow of a doubt that I love you! It amazing to have such an intense and true feeling for someone I cannot see, but for someone I know is there. Your presence is like life to me. Like water when I'm thirsty. I am so thankful that you have blessed me with your presence. Thanks also for my house, my job, my parents, my sister, my amazing daughter and the two and a half weeks I get to spend with her. Thanks for the struggles with money, it's building my faith and freeing me from fear. Thanks for my bed. Thanks for my wicked good car, for gas, for wisdom, for knowledge, for hope, peace, joy, friends, food, two eyes to see, ears to hear, a voice to sing your praises and to build up my friends and family. Thanks for swimming, for the sun shine, for my garden that I haven't touched, but has grown in resplendence. Thanks for my computer, for my gear, for the work that has been, is and is coming. Thank you for making me into the man that you intended me to be. Thank you for the woman you are preparing for me. Thanks for giving me the ability to make the house I live in a home. Oh, and thanks for music and creativity. Bless my creativity Lord. Increase it to overflowing! It feels so good to do what you do. Thanks for letting me be a part of the great story! I love you! I love you!

Ignatius of Loyola

The importance of maintaing a balance between our reason and our feelings (heart). Ignatius' biography appeared in the Acta Sanctorum, a Hagiography (The Study of the Saints) where one can study the life of spiritual endeavors of this man, the founder of the Order of the Jesuits. He had some great thoughts on God and some that I am not so keen on. For example, I'm not a huge believer, like him, that we are to follow the leaders of the Church with utter abandonment to reason. He went so far as to say, and I paraphrase, "If the church tells me that the white that I see is black, then it is." Despite any disagreements I might have with his theology, there is something to be said about the concept of maintaining balance between reason and our feelings. I think that God gave us reason to figure out things for ourselves during the times that He is silent; we have reason to puzzle over the emotions of the heart, the events of life, and our relationships to God and to others. I think our emotions are tied strongly to our ability to hear the voice of God, connect with the things of the spirit, and to know our heart. A balance between these two parts helps create a man/women who is capable of healthy relationships with ourselves, God, and others. We shouldn't just blindly follow our feelings but we need to acknowledge that they are part of the way that God communicates with us.
It is true that it is easy to get lost if we follow our feelings only without reason, especially if we attribute them all to God; but Ignatius and I agree with the Apostle John that we are to "not believe every spirit, but test the spirits and see if they are from God." (1 John 4:1) Do they bring life, joy, peace, or repentance or do they bring despair, turmoil, grief, and guilt? I believe God is in the process of building up, not taring down. He is taking us from emotional and spiritual youth to Mature faith, emotional health, and spiritual freedom. If it is leading us toward Christ and toward that end, then it is from God, if it doesn't then it is from the enemy or our own flesh. Peter Scazzaro says in his book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, "Sometimes they are our fleshly desires or the enemy (feelings). Other times God is prodding us to a better choice. God intends that we mature in learning to recognize how he speaks and guides us through our feelings."

I know that John was talking about Spirits of false prophecy and false teaching, but isn't teaching and prophecy the product of a thought that started in the mind or heart and made its way to the mouth. Those self same thoughts that have lead many believers away from truth started in the mind of a man or a woman who was not mature in their ability to hear the voice of God and who did not test the spirit.

If our feelings lead us to health and wholeness, toward Christ, toward repentance, toward joy and peace, toward life, and the Kingdom then they are from God and they are emotions that should be embraced, even if they hurt. Happiness is not the end all that we believe it is. God has given us something far greater. He has given us joy. Where happiness is based on circumstance our joy is based on knowing who we are in Christ and that all things, good or bad work for our good (Romans 8:28) and that the testing of our faith helps us grow into mature people. (James 1:1-4) and if they lead us away from hope, joy, peace, life, then they are feelings that should be rejected and placed under the authority of Christ so they lose any power they might possess.

The Cry of the Soul (Dan Allender)
In neglecting our intense emotions, we are false to ourselves and lose a wonderful opportunity to know God. We forget that change comes through brutal honesty before God."

I came home one night and as I was passing my daughters empty room my heart broke. My wife was gone, she'd left and taken my daughter. My knees collapsed and as I was weeping and a thought came to my mind... I was crying, but I felt so alive. I felt God's presence, I felt a change happening in my heart that was making me stronger. I realized how we spend so much time trying to be happy that we miss the opportunities to be changed by our sorrow, by embracing it with the same hug that we do with happy things. I allowed myself to weep, I allowed my body to ache and my eyes to burn. I felt what the pain was doing in every part of me and how I could surrender that before God. I felt a peace and a new life that came and as soon as it was passed I thanked God for changing me and letting me be alive, even though it hurt! That's life. That's freedom from fear. To know that even when life gets bad I can live. I can find joy and I can allow God to make me stronger!

Needing Your Presence

I'm so thankful for where you have brought me Lord. You have built me up and are making me more like the man you created me to be. I have finally come to a place where your presence is what I desire most. I have surrendered and am surrendering everything to you. My hopes, dreams, future, daughter, house, career, everything and I will trust you. It might not turn out the way that I think it should, but it will turn out being what is best for me, and all things will work together for good. I pray that through my struggles and through my successes your kingdom would come and your spirit would fall upon me. Use me Lord to bring people into your kingdom and to reveal your great Love. You are my closest friend, my most faithful companion, and my life is yours. Search my spirit father, search my mind, root out all that is evil. Thank you for your work on the cross, thank you that you paid it all. I have no guilt, I am no longer under any condemnation for sin. I have been forgiven and I am free. Continue the revelation of your redeeming grace that I may know more fully the awesome power of that blessed day. I love you Lord. I love you so much.