Weary of Doing Good?

Galatians 6:9 stepped out of the Bible to me tonight. It's amazing how the words live in a one dimensional place and then suddenly, as though I had 3D glasses, they jump off the page and into my heart. What amazing power your word has to change, renew, and transform. 


The verse is "So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up" (NLT). This meant a lot for me, because of the mountain that I face before me. There are definitely powers at work. Forces of evil and darkness that lurk behind even the most simple of human actions. Some might be fueld by our choices, some maybe created by them, still others use our words and choices to piggy back there agendas into our lives. If we do not recognize them, then they will remain, they will fester, and they will grow. I love the thought of a mustard seed being the idea of a simple faith, but it is also conversely true. That a simple lie, no matter how small, when it is planted and allowed to grow can end up becoming the tree that blocks out the sun. 


There are several spirits that have been attacking me for years. The first is the spirit of guilt. I've struggled with it for years and in the last four years I've been set free of it, mostly. It doesn't have the power to pull me into self misery like it once did. But it is still a force that I must contend with. I always have felt that I fall short of the mark that God has for me, and even though I'm saved, that somehow He is disappointed with me and that there is nothing that I can do that can make Him happy. This is one of those cases in which I let the seed in and it grew into the tree that blocked out the truth. The amazing truth that God loves me more than I could ever know and that He is, in fact, in a good mood. The tree had to be chopped down. 


I am facing court coming up very soon and I am fully aware of the accusations that are being leveled against me and that, though there may be seeds of truth somewhere, they are nested in lies. The lies are going to attempt to pull me down and make me doubt myself. But the truth is, that I know, before God and man, I have walked with a heart of love, of forgiveness and compassion, joy and strength. That I have been a source of hope for so many hurting people and that God has taken what has been done to me and is turing it, as a powerful weapon, against the enemy (the the person, but the spirit behind the person) that will shatter the gates of the enemy. He will not stand against it.


 I am learning that through everything the only real control I have is over my response to any situation. And since we all know that life is filled with good and bad that it is our call as believers to stand up against injustice, and though we may fail in our endeavor we make the world a better place, none the less, and in so struggling we improve ourselves until we become the very people that God created us to be. It's awesome to think that our greatest Glory is yet to be revealed and that all of creation eagerly waits for us to be revealed. Until that day comes let us never tire of doing good. 

I Cannot Express

My sweet Lord. My awesome father. I just want to share how grateful I am and how humbled I am at your love and your mercy. You have brought me such great joy, even in the midst of my sorrow. You lift my head and you set me free. In the last three months you have healed my back completely, you have restored my sight, have provided for all of my bills, you have given me work and have blessed me above and beyond anything that I could ask or imagine. You have filled my heart with joy and my house with dancing.  I just wanted to make sure that you knew, that I knew, that you knew everything I needed, inside and out, and how you have come through. Even more I just want to tell you how much I love you. Even before I saw the answers to my prayers, even before I know what will be I want you to know that I love you!