Not Just A Pile of Stones

I've been reading Bill Johnson's book Supernatural Power of a transformed mind. I've had to start it and push through it several times. It gets me so mad. Mad because I have been praying for years that I would be able to walk in the spirits power and bring healing and the kingdom. I am painfully aware of areas of unbelief and areas of doubt. Not in the existence of God or of His abilities, but in His willingness to act on my behalf should I speak to the cripple and tell her to get out of her chair, or the blind man to receive sight. I have been faithfully pursuing a deeper relationship with Him and He is meeting me with amazing revelations, joy and peace. I'm working on hope and surrendering to Him in this. It was amazing that this past year I was hit hard financially. I had no work for almost four months and when I started working I wasn't paid for almost three. I know there are people out there who have been hit worse than that, but in my case I am responsible, according to court, for certain expenses that are required by my divorce papers. I have to pay for the house, because her name is on it, I have to have insurance for our daughter, I have to have our school bills paid because they are shared jointly, I have to pay child support, and property taxes. My ex brought contempt charges against me because I was having trouble paying these things. It was incredibly stressful. On top of that she told me that she met a man from Michigan and that they were getting married and that she was moving and taking Arianna with her. I knew I couldn't let her do that. It wasn't at all good for Arianna, but I had nothing to fight it. I had to borrow money from Arianna's piggy back to get some food, (I've paid it back :) Suddenly I would have to shoulder the burden of a 325.00 and hour attorney and who knows what other costs. But I kept feeling that the Lord was telling me to trust Him. The battle belongs to Me. I went ahead and got my attorney. My parents helped with the retainer. First provision. Then after a couple of months of working the attorney had used all of the retainer and had racked up and additional $8,000. They told me that I needed to pay if we were going to move ahead and I needed a very costly evaluation done on Arianna. That landed me almost $6,000. Plus I had past bills and I had to have a house that dropped over $40,000 in value refinanced (which I had been trying for the past two years) or I could go to jail. And what is more. I had little to no work lined up for the fall. Enters God. You know the verse in Joshua where God tells him to get his men together and go out on the battlefield then stand there and watch while the Lord fought the battle for them. Well, my roommate mentioned that verse to me and felt it really applied to my situation. I felt the same thing. That God was telling me to get out of His way. It wasn't a fight against my Ex. It was a fight against the spirit that had been trying to destroy me for so long! Okay, back to the money thing. I had about a week and a half to come up with almost 10-11 thousand dollars. My friend and accountant Sue laughed, but said that we believed God could do it and would. It was amazing by the time that the bill was due I had almost $15,000 in my bank account. I got a new job out of the blue. I was paid for three months work, and friends and family came out of the wood works to bless me with enormous offerings. He is so good. My station changed in one week. I was able to pay all my bills and to date have caught up on almost everything and everyone that I owe and have been able to give some to others. I'm so greatful and I want this to be one of the many stone piles that mark God's faithful actions on my behalf and in my life. I suffered for almost eight months through that crisis and have been suffering through the separation with my wife for almost four years, but God is faithful and I have been faithful to trust Him.

Bill said, "Our troubling experience may last days, months, or years, instead of just an hour or two, but our approach should be the same. We must declare the goodness and faithfulness of the Lord in the midst of our trial, even before we have an answer."

I agree. I don't know what will happen in court on February 28th, and I don't know if I will have to go to jail. I certainly hope not, but I know that God is faithful and through my struggles I have come to be able to trust Him with any outcome, knowing that He loves me and that He can take anything, no matter what, and turn it around and make it good. He can redeem anything and anyone. He has given me such peace and he has restored my hope. I believe that I won't have to go to jail and that Arianna will stay with me. It is what is right and it is what is best for her, but I don't know for sure. None the less, I pray that the God of peace will bring peace. I have forgiven Heidi and I have let go of any right I think I have for justice for the pain she caused and I seek His justice and His healing for Heidi and His protection over Arianna. I will help God bring His kingdom into this situation and will overcome evil, no matter it's source, with good.