It's an amazing thing, God, that I sit here on the precipice of something that could turn out to be the incredibly wonderful, or amazingly painful, that I feel such a calmness. I've never faced anything so daunting or terrible. Arianna is so amazing. I love my daughter and being a part of her life is everything to me. I still am just completely floored that her mom wants to take her to Michigan. I just can't see how taking a little girl away from a father who is so deeply involved and totally devoted to her can even be something considerable.
I have all this before me and yet there is something different. Something that wasn't there last year. Peace. I have completely yielded and surrendered to you. I am afraid of pain, but it will not destroy me. I love that you put on my heart the thought that I will see Arianna for eternity, and no matter what happens I will always be with her and no matter how far life tries to take her I will always be father.
I'm sitting her listening to Enya as the rain falls outside, as the storms rage and I have such joy, such amazing hope in tomorrow. Please touch our lives, and fight for my daughter. We need you to come and strengthen our hearts. To build us up on truth, rather than on lies. Religion is dead, but you are alive. Thanks for the peace I find, thanks for the joy. I will do all that I can and then I will surrender it over to you.
"You need to surrender it to me before you try."
"You're right. I've tried it the other way. It doesn't work."
I will surrender my life and situation to you, do the best I can, then let go of the outcome, because there are some things about the future that I can't change.
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